Trump’s Bitcoins Outshine Novogratz: A Tale of Golden Wallets and Digital Folly

by

Finance

What to know, dear reader, if you dare:

  • American Bitcoin, a firm as Trump-linked as a cat is to curiosity, now clutches 6,899 bitcoins in its digital claws, ascending to the 16th throne of public holders. A triumph, or merely a circus act?
  • Alongside Trump Media & Technology’s 9,542 bitcoin hoard, these entities parade their wealth like peacocks in a zoo, flaunting their place among the corporate elite. How quaint.
  • Born in 2025 from the loins of Hut 8, and blessed by the golden touch of Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr., American Bitcoin stubbornly clings to mining, ignoring the siren call of AI. Fools or visionaries? You decide.

Ah, American Bitcoin (ABTC), that mining and treasury firm with a Trumpian aroma, now boasts more bitcoin than Mike Novogratz’s Galaxy Digital (GLXY). A victory, perhaps, but in what game?

With 6,899 BTC, valued at a mere $491 million, it edges past Galaxy’s 6,894 BTC, claiming the 16th spot in the grand theater of public holders, as decreed by BitcoinTreasuries.net. A shift, indeed, but is it progress or mere shuffling of chairs on the Titanic?

Behold, the rankings! Michael Saylor’s Strategy (MSTR) reigns supreme with 761,068 BTC, followed by Marathon Digital (MARA) and Jack Mallers’ Twenty One Capital. Others, like Bullish (BLSH), CoinDesk’s parent, Coinbase (COIN), and Tesla (TSLA), trail behind. A parade of wealth, or a march of madness?

American Bitcoin’s ascent also highlights the Trumpian invasion of the market. Trump Media & Technology (DJT), the brainchild of the erstwhile President, holds 9,542 BTC. A dynasty of digital gold, or a house of cards?

American Bitcoin, conceived in March 2025 when Hut 8 (HUT) birthed it as a majority-owned subsidiary, dedicated to the noble art of large-scale mining and hoarding bitcoin. Hut 8 claimed 80%, while Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr. shared the remaining 20%. A family affair, how charming.

Unlike their peers, who flirt with AI, American Bitcoin remains steadfast in its mining obsession. In March 2026, it acquired 11,298 ASIC miners for its Drumheller, Alberta site, boosting capacity by 12% and adding 3.05 exahashes per second-a mere 0.3% of the global network’s might. A drop in the ocean, or a ripple with grand delusions?

Bitcoin, ever fickle, traded at $71,092, down 4% in a day. The digital rollercoaster continues, and we, dear reader, are but spectators in this absurd ballet.

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2026-03-18 19:02