AVAX’s 25% Surge: Will It Break 3-Year Downtrend? đź’¸

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On February 20, 2026, AVAX had a moment of glory, with volume jumping 25% to $248.87 million. It traded around $9.25, which, if you’ve been following the story, is still way below its former glory. The market’s like a broken record: “It’s different this time!”

tag and not repeated as a header. Add humor and sarcasm throughout without overdoing it. Make sure the HTML is valid.End of Thought (14.93s) Free Money Alert: Oregon Moms to Get $20K for Just Existing! Imagine being paid to gestate! That’s right, the West Coast is now the Wild West of government handouts, with millions of dollars raining down on Multnomah County like a guilt-ridden Portlander’s tax refund. The Bridge Project, a nonprofit that’s either very optimistic or terrible at accounting, has decided that the solution to poverty is simply giving people cash. Revolutionary, I know. Multnomah County, Oregon’s most populated region (a bustling metropolis that’s basically Portland’s slightly less hip older sibling), will distribute $2.025 million to 100 mothers over three years. Because nothing says “systemic change” like scattering the GDP of a small island nation across a hundred households. The program targets the first 1,000 days of a child’s life-a critical window, statistically speaking, for parents to realize they’ve made a series of terrible life decisions. Participants receive $1,125 during pregnancy (a prenatal “good luck” bonus), followed by $750 monthly for 15 months (roughly the time it takes to binge-watch every streaming service into oblivion). The final 21 months bring $375 a month, which is either a cruel joke or a subtle nudge toward adoption. Eligibility? You must: – Live in Multnomah County, Oregon. (Moving there just for this? Obviously.) – Be at least 18. (Teens, please keep your get-rich-quick schemes offline.) – Be ≤27 weeks pregnant. (Priority goes to those deep enough in the rabbit hole to question their life choices.) – Earn <$39,000 annually. (Oregon’s definition of “rich.”) Applications are open. Payments start March 1st. Act fast-this isn’t socialism, it’s just the government testing if humans can be bribed into contentment.

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The first paragraph: The original says millions are being dished out. Sedaris might add a humorous twist, like comparing the government’s generosity to something unexpected. Maybe mention the amount and add a sarcastic remark about the government’s sudden generosity.

Discover the Secret Blockchain Weapon Banks Don’t Want You to Know!

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It seems our good old banks have stopped twiddling their thumbs about whether blockchain is worth a fig. Nope, they’re knee-deep in architecture debates-like kids picking teams for dodgeball. With payment rails strung together like a rickety fence, compliance costs soaring higher than a kite on a windy day, and security gaps big enough to drive a truck through, the time for decision-making is now!