Ah, what tumultuous times for the memecoin realm! Once a darling dubbed the “Dogecoin Killer,” the Shiba Inu coin finds itself gasping for breath, its once-joyous community now lamenting the sluggish pace of development that could rival a tortoise race. The exuberance of yesteryear has all but dissipated, leaving only the echoes of broken promises.
In a missive penned on X, Mr. Marks posited that Ethereum, in its current state, is engaged in a most peculiar dance, maintaining a ‘larger Hidden Bull Divergence Pattern.’ With such a chart, one might imagine a squirrel attempting to navigate a labyrinth. According to this sage, a full-fledged recovery could see ETH surge 140%, a feat requiring more faith than a priest in a den of thieves. His accompanying diagram, a masterpiece of ambiguity, suggests a $5,000 target by mid-year-a goal as likely as a parrot reciting Shakespeare.
Recent large cryptocurrency purchases by wealthy investors, combined with other signals, suggest that Bitcoin might be poised for a significant price increase.
Where once Nexo chased growth like a drunkard chases salvation, it now stumbles toward the altar of regulation, offering up $45 million as a bloodless sacrifice to the SEC gods. Its new mantra: “Safety first, profits later.” Or, as one cynic quipped, “Finally, a company that treats crypto like a tax audit.”
Alas, dear reader, our protagonist remains far from its glory days, sitting shyly below last year’s high of $0.3025 and the November 2024 peak of $0.4012. How the mighty have fallen!
After a tepid slide starting in late December, SHIB found a modest berth in the $0.0000052-$0.0000054 corridor, as the TradingView scroll revealed. Though a 30‑percent bounce looks smashing on paper, the underlying numbers whisper caution:
According to the cryptic data of XRPScan, the Permissioned DEX amendment is expected to activate within the next 24 hours, a mere 23 hours remaining in this digital countdown. One wonders if the ledger’s fate hinges on these fleeting moments-or if it is all just a grand illusion crafted by those who thrive on chaos.
On the 16th of February, 2026, amidst the clinking of imaginary champagne glasses, Crypto.com secured a distinction so rare, one might say it’s the equivalent of a crocodile winning a debate on hydration. The platform became the first digital asset platform to earn the ISO/IEC 42001:2023 certification, a global standard for Artificial Intelligence Management Systems. The company’s “official announcement” claims this is a first, but let us not trouble ourselves with such pedestrian details when we can marvel at the audacity of it all.
Deadshot Ryker, that sly fox, took to Discord to declare the end of the Zerolend show, after three years of merriment and mayhem. ‘Twasn’t nothin’ but a string of woes: liquidity that vanished faster than a magician’s rabbit, oracles that skipped town, and a heap of troublemakers with more mischief than a barrel of monkeys. Now, the loans be 0% LTV, and the folks are beggin’ you to haul your assets out before they turn to dust. The team’s plan? A timelock upgrade to fish out the stuck funds on chains like Manta, Zircuit, and XLayer-though I reckon those chains are more like quagmires. Just don’t expect a parade, mind you.
Glassnode, that tireless chronicler of crypto’s misfortunes, reports that a mere 55-56% of Bitcoin’s circulating supply remains in profit. A paltry 10 million BTC now languish in the red, their holders clutching at the fading hope of a recovery. It is a scene reminiscent of the 2022 bear market, when prices kissed the ground at $16,000 before the phoenix of greed rose again.