Unlike our usual 18th‑century software, most blockchain programmes are cursed with the unchangeable-once unleashed, a single misstep can haunt the wallet for ever. The result? Permanent financial woe.
Ah, Polymarket, that blockchain-based prediction market where the future is traded like yesterday’s news. Here, the wise and the foolish alike wager on everything from elections to the whims of the economy, their collective guesses masquerading as wisdom.
The analytical surgeons of Bubblemaps uncovered a wallet-an eerie echo of Davis’s name-that beamed $50 million USDC into the secretive pre‑sale, returning 12.5 billion PUMP tokens at launch. At that fleeting instant, the digital beads glittered with a value of roughly $73 million, a glittering carousel of impossible fortunes.
Arthur Hayes, the crypto world’s favorite provocateur, just slapped a $150 price tag on HYPE by July 2026. Oh, and he’s backing it with a $100,000 bet. Because what’s a bold claim without a little skin in the game? With Hyperliquid’s market cap chilling at $7 billion and daily trading volume bouncing between $200-$300 million, this token is the crypto equivalent of a soap opera-everyone’s watching, but no one’s quite sure how it’ll end.
According to the wise seers at Arkham, these UAE-linked mining operations have conjured up about $453.6 million worth of Bitcoin, much of which remains stubbornly ensconced on-chain. After a little jiggery-pokery with energy costs, we find ourselves with an impressive $344 million in unrealized profit. Bravo! A round of applause for our patient treasure keepers!
So, Ethereum’s developers are all like, “Let’s spice up the Hegota fork with FOCIL (aka EIP-7805), because censorship resistance is so hot right now.” Apparently, soispoke.eth dropped the news that FOCIL’s been “SFI’d,” which is basically blockchain-speak for “it’s happening, people!” And now everyone’s obsessing over it like it’s the next big thing in crypto (which, let’s be real, it probably is).
Ah, but lo! Just a mere seven days post its grand debut, Robinhood’s Ethereum Layer-2 marvel, aptly named “Robinhood Chain,” has triumphantly achieved the remarkable feat of processing approximately 4 million transactions upon its public testnet. Such industriousness!
This creates a delightful tug-of-war between “recovery” and “I give up,” which is probably the most exciting thing Ethereum’s had since Vitalik started wearing socks.
The year 2025, they tell us, was a year of high-throughput theatrics, with mainnet changes anchored by two network upgrades: Pectra in May and Fusaka in December, accompanied by the grand unveiling of PeerDAS. Alongside these, the community, in a fit of exuberance, doubled the mainnet gas limit from 30 million to 60 million, a feat they proudly declare as the first significant jump since 2021. One wonders if they threw a parade.
Earlier this week, McGlone was waving his arms like a man trying to flag down a passing spaceship, warning that collapsing crypto prices could signal broader financial doom and that bitcoin might revert to $10,000 if U.S. equities decided to take a nosedive. He painted bitcoin as the high-beta risk asset equivalent of a towel-useful, but not something you want to bet your life on.
