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More astonishingly, the fourth quarter of 2025 saw a 77% surge in revenue to $770 million, with net profits of $133 million. Their flagship stablecoin, USDC, witnessed an annual transaction volume of $11.9 trillion, a 247% increase, as if the world had collectively lost its head over digital pennies. At press time, CRCL shares were trading at $82.22, a 33.97% jump in 24 hours, and a 156% hike from its IPO price of $31 in June 2025. Quite the farce, isn’t it?

Picture this: A meeting so tense, you could slice the air with a butter knife! Pentagon bigwigs, led by one Mr. Hegseth, handed Anthropic an ultimatum juicier than a plum in a pudding. “Change your ways,” they growled, “or we’ll brand you a menace to the supply chain-or worse, drag out the ol’ Defense Production Act like a magician pulling a rabbit from a hat!” And to add spice, they slapped a Friday 5 p.m. deadline on the table. Imagine waiting for a soufflé to rise, but with more drama.

He threw in some emotional guest stories, because why not? And of course, he took a few swings at the Democrats. Tariffs? Still his jam, even after the Supreme Court said, “Uh, no.” Classic Trump-never let a little thing like the law get in the way.

But hold on to your hats, because in the last 24 hours, ETH shot up faster than a squirrel on espresso. It went from $1,800 to a cool $2,000, and now the crypto enthusiasts are getting a glimmer of hope. Some say this could be the start of a big rebound, while others are just waiting for the inevitable plunge into the abyss. Who’s to say?

The two reports arrive with the inevitability of a winter wind, as the Aave DAO readies to weigh the “Aave Will Win” proposal, which would allocate up to $51 million in fresh funding to Aave Labs and sketch a broader roadmap anchored in Aave V4 and kin.

This came just hours after Justin Bons, the founder of Cyber Capital, threw his hat into the ring, claiming that XRPL was actually a walled garden-basically, a permissioned network that is more centralized than a fast-food drive-thru menu. Bons went on about how the Unique Node List (UNL) gives Ripple more control than a chess master playing against a toddler. But Schwartz wasn’t having it. He called the accusation “objectively nonsensical,” which, in Schwartz-speak, is basically a polite way of saying, “That’s just wrong.”

XRP hovers at $1.37, a whisper in the storm of market chaos. But Farina, that sower of wild ideas, insists the price is a distraction. What truly matters, he argues, is who will be left holding the bag when the party ends.

CoinMarketCap reports that Cardano climbed from the abyss of $0.2546 to a dizzying peak of $0.271. Some traders exclaim at the rise like disgruntled prisoners near a factory- “Look, we found a corner where the light doesn’t hit!”-while others whisper about the inevitable dead cat returning to its shackle of decline.

Yes, the bear market is here, but so are the newcomers, armed with nothing but questions and a vague sense of FOMO. Could this be the cosmic alignment that sets the stage for the next great crypto saga? Only time, and possibly a highly advanced alien civilization, will tell.

However, the accumulation efforts of large investors suggest a rebound may be approaching. Or, as we like to call it, “the moment the whales decide to stop pretending they’re just casual swimmers.”