Pump.fun’s Shocking New Fee Plot Twist 😲 You Won’t Believe What’s Next…

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So, the folks at Pump.fun-bless their crypto-weary hearts-have finally noticed that their grand experiment in creator fees has been less “financial innovation” and more “mildly tragic farce.” In a rare moment of self-awareness, they’ve admitted the system was hurting the very people who keep the lights on: the poor, overworked traders, sweating over their screens like Russian peasants staring at a barren wheat field.

Alon Cohen, co-founder and occasional philosopher of Solana memecoins, took to X (or whatever it’s called this week) to confess, as one might at a village gathering: “Creator fees need change.” A modest statement, yes, but spoken with the gravitas of a man who once believed in decentralization-and now just hopes his project doesn’t get outsold by a dog meme on a rival chain.

“Creator fees need change,” he wrote, presumably while staring pensively into a Dyson fan.

Turns out, the much-celebrated Dynamic Fees V1-launched with fanfare and a livestream featuring questionable hats-was too good at its job. It made launching tokens easier than saying “GM,” but about as meaningful. The result? A platform bursting with tokens and utterly devoid of soul. Or, worse: devoid of traders, the unsung heroes who provide liquidity while dodging rug pulls like Cossacks evading conscription.

“Dangerous,” Cohen called it. Not because of the moral implications of incentivizing get-rich-quick schemes-no, no-but because, well, the volume dropped. Imagine hosting a ball and discovering everyone brought mannequins as dates. That was Pump.fun.

Early Success, Then Cracks Began to Widen Like Poorly Fitted Shelves

Let’s be fair-there was a golden age. For a fleeting moment, bonding curve volumes soared. Live streams bloomed like wildflowers in a meadow. Cohen remembers it fondly, describing those days as “some of the best on-chain conditions of 2025.” (We assume he said this while sipping lukewarm borscht and gazing wistfully at a chart with many green candles.)

But alas, the bloom faded. The platform started resembling a crowded marketplace where everyone is selling the same knockoff balalaika. Project Tokens with real teams did fine-surprise!-while the average memecoin deployer, hunched over a cracked phone in a Kyiv internet café, saw exactly zero improvement.

And the UX? Don’t get us started. Navigating Pump.fun felt like trying to assemble IKEA furniture with a spoon. Users had to rely on community takeovers, trust-based systems, and the rare, noble soul who actually remembered their 24-word seed phrase. Many did not.

Pump.fun’s Grand New Feature: Fee Sharing! (For Trenchers Only 🛠️)

But fret not! The cavalry has arrived-in the form of Fee Sharing v1.0. Now, creators (and CTO admins, whatever those are) can generously share a slice of the fee pie with up to ten lucky wallets. Yes, ten! That’s practically socialism, by crypto standards.

You can now transfer coin ownership, revoke update authority, and do all sorts of grown-up blockchain things. And in a stunning act of virtue, Cohen swears-on the graves of dead NFTs-that no one at Pump.fun will ever accept fees. Never! (One imagines him saying this while dramatically tossing a suitcase of Ethereum into a river.)

Fees can be claimed anytime. They never expire. Just like that grudge you still hold against your ex who rug-pulled your heart.

Pump.fun’s Struggle for Relevance (And Dignity)

This whole overhaul comes on the heels of a rather humiliating defeat. In July, rival platform LetsBonk-yes, LetsBonk-dared to overtake Pump.fun in both volume and revenue. Imagine Tolstoy being outsold by a chap who writes novels exclusively in memes. Unthinkable!

But Pump.fun rallied. Buybacks! Token burns! The noble Project Ascend! And like a wounded bear limping back to the forest, it now controls 75-80% of Solana memecoin launches. Victory? Perhaps. But the war for cultural dominance rages on.

And so, Cohen offers his final words-his fin de siècle declaration:

“I’m extremely excited for what 2026 holds,” he wrote-possibly while staring at a whiteboard covered in buzzwords and a single drawing of a rocket with sad eyes. 🚀😢

Much like the spring thaw, hope returns. Will 2026 bring enlightenment? Or just another moon-shaped rug pull? Only time-and speculative frenzy-will tell.

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2026-01-10 14:31