As of now, Flow has announced they’ve reached “validator consensus” on their new software upgrade-because nothing says “we’re on top of this” like a bunch of validators agreeing on something after a multi-million-dollar oopsie. Testing is currently underway, which sounds like a fancy way of saying, “We’re crossing our fingers and hoping for the best!” 🤞
Lo and behold, our dear asset ascended by a delightful 2.45% during this session, much to the delight of traders sipping their morning coffees on X, who eagerly shared their fanciful dreams of further gains. Hope sprouted like weeds in a neglected garden!
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In the U.S., the search interest for “crypto” has hit a one-year low, which is about as surprising as finding out your in-laws are staying for another week. 🛋️ Casual investors, once the lifeblood of crypto’s wild rides, are now too busy Googling “how to regrow hair after stress” to bother with Bitcoin. The dip comes after a year that was more turbulent than a rollercoaster designed by a sadist-market sell-offs, flash crashes, and memecoin collapses tied to high-profile figures (looking at you, Trump/Melania tokens). 🎢💸
From a technical standpoint, our daily charts trot out multiple long-wick rejections near the sacred number $0.000004 since the grand season of Q3 2025. It seems our brave buyers are quite enamored with this price zone, despite the waning momentum. And lo! On the weekly stage, we see a dramatic compression of prices within narrowing candlestick ranges-ah, the suspense! This often heralds either a period of consolidation or a bold breakout-perhaps a daring escape? 🌟
CoinShares, that ever-watchful oracle of the crypto realm, reports a staggering $446 million in outflows last week. Dear me, one can only imagine the pearls being clutched in boardrooms across the globe! 💎✨
The “safety trade” crumbled too. Gold, once a noble hero, now faltered by 3.1%, while silver, platinum, and palladium descended into a ballet of despair-8.37%, 12.67%, 16.07% down, each hitting lows that would make a gluttonous gull turn away. A symphony of losses, if you will.
Price hovers around a sad $0.093, teetering on the edge of greatness or disaster. The trend remains as fragile as a house of cards in a hurricane-until validation hits, we’re all just chasing our own tails.
But here’s the kicker: your average Bitcoin purchase price is now this close to $75,000. Yep, $74,997 to be exact. Three dollars away from a number that’s basically just a big, round, psychological “Oopsie!” 🥴 Will you hit it? Will you care? Probably not, because you’re MicroStrategy, and you’re here to make the rest of us look like financial wallflowers. 💃
On Tuesday (Dec 30), the Federal Reserve shall unveil the minutes from their latest soiree. Traders, my dear, will be clutching their pearls, searching for the faintest hint of when and how swiftly interest rates might be trimmed in 2026. A shift in tone could send risk appetite into a tailspin, particularly with liquidity already as scarce as a Coward revival on Broadway. 🎭💸
