Crypto Hacks of ’25: Oh. My. God.

The year 2025, let’s just say it wasn’t ideal for anyone holding crypto. Hackers went on a bit of a spree, targeting exchanges, DeFi platforms (whatever those are, precisely), wallets, and those incredibly complicated smart contracts. The result? Billions of dollars disappeared into the ether (pun intended, naturally). It was all rather exposing – like finding your embarrassing childhood photos on Facebook, but with money. 💸

Metaplanet’s Bitcoin Gambit: $451M Spent in Q4 2025!

As revealed by the company’s CEO, Simon Gerovich, in a new X post, Metaplanet partook in a fresh accumulation of Bitcoin during Q4 2025. The firm added 4,279 BTC at an average price of $105,412, a sum that would surely have sent Mr. Darcy into a fit of consternation. 🤯 The last such purchase occurred in September, with two sizable buys of over 5,000 tokens each-though one might question the wisdom of such a venture when the market is as fickle as a society belle’s affections.

XRP to $27? The White Fractal Whispers Madness! 🤑💨

XRP Chart from Egrag Crypto

This fractal, this so-called roadmap, is but a conditional mirage in the desert of uncertainty. It speaks of a possible ascent to $27, yet it hedges its bets with an air of “perhaps” and “if.” Ah, the human condition! To dream of riches while knowing the abyss awaits. The analyst claims an 82% accuracy-a number as arbitrary as it is tantalizing. But what is 82% in the grand scheme of existence? A mere flicker in the void. 🌌

Iran’s Rial Plummets, Bitcoin Steps In – But at What Cost? 😱

The Iranian rial has lost over 40% of its value since June 2025, when a 12-day conflict with Israel intensified regional tensions. The currency’s decline represents a nearly 44-fold depreciation over the past decade, falling from 32,000 per dollar in 2015 to current levels above 1.4 million. 📉 The official exchange rate in the early 1980s was 70 rials per dollar. This means Iranians have watched their currency lose more than 95% of its purchasing power over ten years. 🧠