Oh, darling Ethereum-once the belle of the crypto ball-now finds itself languishing below the dreadfully dull $3,000 mark. ETF inflows? Slower than a tortoise on valium. Network fees? Plummeting faster than my patience at a tedious dinner party.
- Ethereumâs daily chart looks like a tragic modern art piece-all bearish patterns and despair.
- Network fees have taken a 57% nosedive. Someone call an ambulance-or perhaps a financial advisor. đ
- ETH ETFs? Bleeding money like a melodramatic soap opera. Outflows galore! đž
At a pitiful $2,945, Ethereum is down a staggering 40% from its yearly high. And just when you thought it couldnât get worse-oh, but it does-itâs forming yet another “risky pattern.” Because, really, whatâs a crypto winter without a few ominous shapes? âïž
According to SoSoValue (a name that sounds suspiciously like a discount store), Ethereum ETFs have been hemorrhaging cash like a sieve. Last week? A mere $102 million vanished into the ether. The week before? A positively ghastly $643 million exit. Two months of outflows? How déclassé.
Meanwhile, Nansen reports that Ethereumâs fee revenue has shriveled to a measly $11.1 million-down 57% from last month. Was the Fusaka upgrade secretly a downgrade? đ€ DeFi activity? Slower than a dial-up connection in 1999. DEX volume? A pathetic $44 billion in December. At this rate, weâll be trading NFTs for pocket lint by spring.
But wait-thereâs a glimmer of hope! BitMine has decided to stake its Ethereum hoard, presumably in hopes of making “millions” someday. Will this offset the $90 million in outflows? Unlikely. But optimism is a virtue, darling-even when misplaced.
Technical Analysis: Or, How Ethereum Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bear Market
The daily chart reads like a horror novel: ETH has plummeted from $4,980 in August to a tragic $2,940 today. Itâs formed a death cross (how morbid!), a head-and-shoulders (how anatomical!), and a bearish pennant (how festive!). The Supertrend indicator? Oh, itâs super-just not in a good way.
Forecast? Bleaker than my Aunt Mildredâs fruitcake. Next stop: $2,615-Novemberâs low. And if that doesnât hold? Well, $2,500 awaits, like a tax bill after a shopping spree. Buckle up, dear investors-itâs going to be a bumpy ride. đą
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2025-12-28 15:16