Circle’s Ludicrous Leap: 77% Revenue Surge in Q4, 2025 – The World Goes Mad for USDC

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In a spectacle of financial tomfoolery, Circle Internet Group Inc. (NYSE: CRCL), the purveyor of the USDC stablecoin, has announced a preposterous $2.7 billion in full-year revenue and reserve income for 2025, a 64% year-on-year increase. One can only marvel at the sheer audacity of it all.

More astonishingly, the fourth quarter of 2025 saw a 77% surge in revenue to $770 million, with net profits of $133 million. Their flagship stablecoin, USDC, witnessed an annual transaction volume of $11.9 trillion, a 247% increase, as if the world had collectively lost its head over digital pennies. At press time, CRCL shares were trading at $82.22, a 33.97% jump in 24 hours, and a 156% hike from its IPO price of $31 in June 2025. Quite the farce, isn’t it?

Meanwhile, USDC’s market cap has ballooned to $75.4 billion, a 16.55% increase in the past 24 hours, as if the financial world were a balloon in desperate need of a pin.

The Circus Behind Circle’s Q4 Triumph

Under the dubious leadership of CEO Jeremy Allaire, Circle has transformed itself into a publicly traded spectacle, relocating from the quaint Boston to the frenzied heart of New York City, as if proximity to Wall Street were the key to financial sanity. The company has also diversified its revenue streams with its Circle Payments Network (CPN), achieving $5.7 billion in annualized transaction volumes, and its euro-backed stablecoin, EURC, now managing €310 million in assets. Their tokenized Treasury product, USYC, boasts $1.5 billion in AUM, because why not add another layer of complexity to the financial charade?

Circle has also integrated USDC into the payment systems of Brazil and Mexico, and forged partnerships with financial behemoths like Visa and Intuit. In late 2025, their Arc blockchain testnet attracted a slew of institutions eager to dabble in tokenized financial products, as if the world needed more ways to lose money.

Regulatory-wise, Circle has managed to obtain operational licenses in European markets and comply with the GENIUS Act in the US, positioning itself as a “safe financial harbor.” How quaint.

Stablecoin Summer: A Farce in the Crypto Winter

While the crypto market endured what many called a “winter,” stablecoins surged to a volume of $400 billion, as if the world had suddenly developed a taste for digital stability. Yet, their earnings are but a drop in the ocean compared to payment giants like Visa, which reported $20.1 billion in GAAP net income on $40 billion in net revenue for 2025. One wonders if Circle is merely a sideshow in this grand financial circus.

– Stripe (@stripe) February 24, 2026

Looking ahead, Circle plans to expand its stablecoin usage to artificial intelligence agents, because apparently, even machines need to join the financial madness. What a world.

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2026-02-25 23:08