Cathie Wood Claims Bitcoin’s Bottom Is In-But Is She Just Being Polite?

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So, Cathie Wood, that woman who probably owns more socks than a laundromat, has decided that Bitcoin has hit rock bottom. Because nothing says “I’m a financial genius” like predicting the market’s next move while sipping tea and pretending you’ve never heard of “crash.”

“We’re pretty well through the down cycle here,” she says, because nothing says “confidence” like comparing a cryptocurrency’s fluctuation to a toddler’s temper. “It will be the shallowest four-year cycle decline in Bitcoin’s short history,” she adds, as if the coin’s entire existence is a poorly attended Broadway show.

Wood Discredits Fear of Bitcoin Capitulation Based on Halving Cycle

According to Wood, traders should be bullish now because, obviously, Bitcoin didn’t have much upside. Because why would it? It’s not like the market is a rollercoaster or anything. But she’s quick to caution that the price might retest its support level around $80k-because nothing says “optimism” like “we’ll probably hit rock bottom again, but maybe not!”

She attributes the upcoming rebound to the “shift in the global monetary system,” which is just a fancy way of saying “we’re all just hoping for a miracle.” And let’s not forget, Bitcoin is a “leader in the new asset class,” which is code for “we’re all just winging it, but let’s act like we know what we’re doing.”

JUST IN: Ark Invest CEO Cathie Wood says the Bitcoin bottom is in

“This will be the shallowest decline in Bitcoin’s history.”

– Bitcoin Archive (@BitcoinArchive) January 21, 2026

Bigger Picture

Bitcoin has lagged behind gold, which is like saying a toddler lags behind a gazelle. But don’t worry, the trend is “expected to shift in 2026”-because nothing says “trust me” like a prediction so vague it could apply to a toaster.

Capital is “rotating” from gold to Bitcoin, which is just a fancy way of saying “people are betting on a horse that’s been known to kick its jockey.” And the $726 million in ETF inflows? Oh, that’s just the universe’s way of saying, “Sure, why not?”

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2026-01-21 23:41