Cryptonews

Venezuela, it turns out, has really taken a liking to stablecoins, specifically USDT. Apparently, when the world’s financial systems decide you’re a bit…unwelcome, you start looking at other options. Who knew? 🤷

Apparently 2025 was… not amazing for Bitcoin. It hovered around $87,000 instead of hitting that nice, round six-figure number everyone was hoping for. But according to Novogratz, it’s fine! Really! It’s all about the “foundation for future money,” which is a phrase I’m pretty sure everyone in crypto uses when things aren’t going as planned. 🤷‍♀️ Apparently, regulations and… infrastructure? Those are good things!

Polygon’s token is wobbling around at 0.1030-roughly 85% less glamorous than its November 2024 spotlight, but don’t let that fool you; the network stats are all dressed up and raring to go.

As per the insights of one Kamile Uray (a very respectable fellow), the watch remains fixed on the $90,588 mark and that smug descending blue trendline. Until Bitcoin can elevate itself above these hurdles, the downtrend shall prevail. Any upward thumps beneath the trendline are merely ornate blisters on the larger downturn, deviously masquerading as hopeful flukes.

Bitcoin’s price has ascended 0.68% in the past 24 hours, a mere whisper in the vast expanse of financial history. Ah, the weekend-a time when even the markets dare to dream of upward trends, if only for a fleeting moment. 🤔💸

First up, meet Artisans’ Bank in, dare we say, the charming state of Maine-though “charming” might be a stretch when your Social Security number is floating around like confetti at a carnival. They report that a sneaky hacker squad slipped in through Marquis Software’s gates, poked around the digital drawers, and maybe took a peek at some sensitive stuff. Yikes! 32,344 customers affected, or as Marquis might put it, “You might want to change your Social Security number and maybe move to a secret island.”

This strategic endeavor emerges as the preeminent Ethereum treasury company seeks to generate yields from its impressive 4.066 million ETH holdings. One can almost hear the jubilant clinking of coins in their coffers! Or is it just the sound of dreams being staked? 🤔

Key takeaways (because who has time to read the whole thing?)

Some “experts” – and I use that term VERY loosely – are saying it’s forming a “Head & Shoulders” pattern. A head and shoulders! Sounds like a bad vaudeville act! They say it hit $3,200 (the left shoulder, naturally), then went up to $3,400 (the head!), and now it’s wobbling around $3,100 (the right shoulder, oy!). My grandmother has better investment strategies!

Yet, dear reader, beneath the surface of this monotonous chart, a most curious shift has occurred in the on-chain realm, marking the first time in three moons that we have witnessed such a change. While these developments do not guarantee a rally as the year 2026 approaches, they may indeed serve as the initial bricks in the construction of one-if fortune is kind to us! 🏗️