Cryptonews

In the U.S., the search interest for “crypto” has hit a one-year low, which is about as surprising as finding out your in-laws are staying for another week. 🛋️ Casual investors, once the lifeblood of crypto’s wild rides, are now too busy Googling “how to regrow hair after stress” to bother with Bitcoin. The dip comes after a year that was more turbulent than a rollercoaster designed by a sadist-market sell-offs, flash crashes, and memecoin collapses tied to high-profile figures (looking at you, Trump/Melania tokens). 🎢💸

From a technical standpoint, our daily charts trot out multiple long-wick rejections near the sacred number $0.000004 since the grand season of Q3 2025. It seems our brave buyers are quite enamored with this price zone, despite the waning momentum. And lo! On the weekly stage, we see a dramatic compression of prices within narrowing candlestick ranges-ah, the suspense! This often heralds either a period of consolidation or a bold breakout-perhaps a daring escape? 🌟

CoinShares, that ever-watchful oracle of the crypto realm, reports a staggering $446 million in outflows last week. Dear me, one can only imagine the pearls being clutched in boardrooms across the globe! 💎✨

The “safety trade” crumbled too. Gold, once a noble hero, now faltered by 3.1%, while silver, platinum, and palladium descended into a ballet of despair-8.37%, 12.67%, 16.07% down, each hitting lows that would make a gluttonous gull turn away. A symphony of losses, if you will.

Price hovers around a sad $0.093, teetering on the edge of greatness or disaster. The trend remains as fragile as a house of cards in a hurricane-until validation hits, we’re all just chasing our own tails.

But here’s the kicker: your average Bitcoin purchase price is now this close to $75,000. Yep, $74,997 to be exact. Three dollars away from a number that’s basically just a big, round, psychological “Oopsie!” 🥴 Will you hit it? Will you care? Probably not, because you’re MicroStrategy, and you’re here to make the rest of us look like financial wallflowers. 💃

On Tuesday (Dec 30), the Federal Reserve shall unveil the minutes from their latest soiree. Traders, my dear, will be clutching their pearls, searching for the faintest hint of when and how swiftly interest rates might be trimmed in 2026. A shift in tone could send risk appetite into a tailspin, particularly with liquidity already as scarce as a Coward revival on Broadway. 🎭💸

According to reports, the Kremlin’s got a notion to let regular folks dabble in crypto, but only on a leash. You see, non-qualified investors are only allowed to nibble at the liquid crumbs-up to 300,000 rubles per middleman-if they prove they’ve got the sense to know the difference between a real coin and a rabbit’s foot. 🥚🐇

Bitcoin seems to be dusting off its britches after some recent whoops-inducing sell-offs. The soothsayers remark that the current “fear and greed” gauge is as low as a fridge after a family reunion, suggesting the little folk have thrown in the towel, while the big-shot investors reckon the $3 trillion market cap ledge is the grand launchpad for Bitcoin’s next grand ascent. A jumble of short-seller cleanups, kissed by the cool autumn-like gold and silver fields pouring their riches over to crypto, could hoist BTC to lofty heights of $100,000 to $110,000. The month’s wrap-up will be key to sussing out whether this is the dawn of an age of hoarding riches or just a sly, deceitful bull trap.

Indeed, these gold-backed stablecoins have achieved a market capitalization of approximately $4 billion, nearly tripling since the dawn of 2025, as if propelled by some unseen hand of fate-or perhaps just good old-fashioned greed.