Oh, how our dear Bitcoin gallivants through the market, seemingly unperturbed by the clamor of doomsayers. Why, despite the ominous forecasts of impending doom, this digital darling shows a vigor that would make even the most seasoned bull blush! 🐂
Tom Lee, who probably has a PhD in “Why Gen Z Is the Future,” said this partnership is “strategic.” Meanwhile, Jeff Housenbold, who might have a PhD in “How to Spend Money on Snacks and Philanthropy,” claims the cash will “scale the brand.” Scale it up, baby! 🧠💸 And let’s not forget the investors, including Cathie Wood’s ARK, who’ve clearly never met a bubble they didn’t want to inflate. 🚨
In the last 24 hours, Shiba Inu’s bulls sent a grand total of 4,369,584 SHIB to dead wallets in renewed efforts to thin the circulating supply. The move comes as SHIB wobbles within a price range of $0.058491 to $0.059009 in the last 24 hours, like a tightrope performer wearing flip-flops. 😜
And what a curious spectacle it was! The large landowners – those fortunate souls possessing vast estates of these digital coins – began to quietly amass more, as if anticipating a particularly harsh winter. Meanwhile, the small folk, those with merely a handful of coins, began to…sell. A most revealing arrangement, wouldn’t you agree? As though the wisdom of the ages were whispering to them, “Better to have a little secured than to risk losing everything on this shimmering phantom.”
Here’s how it works: Deposit a teensy chunk of BTC (or the equivalent of three 🍕 pizzas in crypto), and BAM! You’re magically eligible for a peso credit limit! No bank account? No credit history? No problem! 🎩🐶 Traditional banks are now sobbing into their stale baguettes, while Lemon says, “Move over, dinosaurs-we’re building a 21st-century circus!”
In a shrewd move that would make a fox look innocent, Lemon, the country’s second-largest crypto exchange, has rolled out its first Bitcoin-backed Visa credit card. This shiny new contraption lets the common folk dip into pesos without giving up a single Bitcoin-a truly revolutionary concept for the ordinary wallet weaver. 🎩
M-pesa Africa and the ADI Foundation, after much hand-wringing and pronouncements about “synergy”, have decided to glue some institutional-grade blockchain onto their system. A grand scheme to reach… you guessed it, over 60 million monthly users in eight African nations! As if life wasn’t complicated enough already. 🙄
With aplomb, Bitcoin has successfully clung to the $92,500 support, propelling itself into the stratosphere of fresh increases. The stalwart bulls have rallied, pushing the price past $95,500, culminating in a spectacular leap above $97,000. A high of $97,898 is now etched in the annals of history, and yet, the price consolidates its gains like a cat basking in the sun.
The broader crypto market? A circus of indecision. Bitcoin snoozes sideways, Ethereum yawns at regulatory drama, and here comes DOGE, the shiba inu with a rocket strapped to its back. 🚀 Traders, bored of waiting for macroeconomic fireworks, have turned to meme coins like kids raiding a candy store after dark. High-beta assets! Because who needs stability when you can have chaos and a 50% dump by breakfast? 🍌
For years, Kashkari has maintained that crypto’s primary use case is confusing investors. In 2018, he dismissed the market as a “farce,” a term I’m certain he uses affectionately. By 2020, he’d upgraded to calling it a “giant dumpster of digital delusion 🗑️” and praised the SEC for finally “cleaning up the mess.” One wonders if he’s secretly running a side hustle as a cryptic janitor.