Cryptonews

In a missive to SEC Chairman Paul Atkins, the venerable Representatives Maxine Waters, Sean Casten, and Brad Sherman have deigned to express their most profound displeasure. They bemoan the SEC’s abandonment of at least a dozen crypto enforcement cases since the dawn of 2025, a period marked by Trump’s reign. Imagine, if you will, the SEC dismissing suits against Binance, Coinbase, and Kraken-despite the courts favoring their claims of fraud and unregistered securities! The Commission, it seems, hath chosen regulatory discretion over legal triumph, a decision as baffling as a heroine accepting the wrong gentleman. 💔📜

The wallet was created eight years ago, in January 2018. Eight years old? That’s like crypto senior citizen status! It was launched as the first open-source Monero wallet for iOS, founded by Vikrant Sharma with a mission to make financial privacy and self-custody accessible to everyone. Cake Wallet has been working towards that goal adding support for other privacy coins and features like Bitcoin BTC$95 74524h volatility:1.6%Market cap:$1.91 TVol. 24h:$63.25 B silent payments, Litecoin LTC$72.0624h volatility:7.4%Market cap:$5.53 BVol. 24h:$1.17 B MWEB, and more. Yawn. 😴

Now, this prophecy rests precariously upon the delicate balance of the XRP/BTC ratio, which our astute Bird predicts will somersault to an improbable 1:5,000 by the time we bid adieu to 2026. Yes, you read that right-5,000 XRP, a veritable flock, would equal a singular Bitcoin (BTC). At present, this ratio is lounging around the paltry figure of 0.00002235. Quite the humble abode, wouldn’t you say?

Here’s the hot gossip: CIP for Leios is basically done (83% complete, but who’s counting?), Midnight’s perpetual futures are now on Coinbase (hello, $NIGHT fever!), ADA’s cozying up in new ETF applications (Cyber Hornet and ProShares, you fancy!), Google Cloud is staking its claim on the testnet (tech giants, they’re just like us!), and some mysterious “critical integrations” are coming soon. Vague? Yes. Exciting? Absolutely. 🕵️‍♀️✨

Prices? Stable! Volumes? As lively as a tax seminar. 🥱 The Fear and Greed Index now twitches at 54, a “neutral” rating that screams, “We’re either brave or brain-dead-jury’s out.” Last month it was 24, a number so low it made Hamlet look decisive. Yet here we are: optimism, the eternal optimist, has returned-armed with a snoozing bullhorn.

Alas, our dear Bitcoin (BTC) has experienced a minor fall-a 0.78% decline since the sun rose yesterday. One can almost hear its sad tune echoing across the digital plains.

In a post on X published on January 14, Adams pushed back against the allegations, which surfaced following an 80% drop in the token’s value. 🚨 80% drop in value, which is like losing your keys but with cryptocurrency.

This tool lets crypto users prove their funds are “clean” without exposing their transaction history. Think of it as a lie detector test for your wallet, but with more zeros and fewer electrodes. 🎩✨

The real treasure? Access to 300MW of power, a commodity rarer than a polite conversation at a blockchain conference. By 2026, CleanSpark aims to double this bounty, all while its stock CLSK leaps 6% like a caffeinated squirrel. Year-to-date gains? A modest 3.22%, because why settle for mediocrity when you can flirt with greatness? 📈

Oh, how our dear Bitcoin gallivants through the market, seemingly unperturbed by the clamor of doomsayers. Why, despite the ominous forecasts of impending doom, this digital darling shows a vigor that would make even the most seasoned bull blush! 🐂