Data from SoSoValue, that digital oracle of numbers, revealed spot Bitcoin ETFs swelling with $1.81 billion in net inflows, pushing total assets to $125.2 billion. A modest triumph, one might say, in a world where $1 billion feels like pocket change to a blockchain baron. Yet, the real question lingers: is this a phoenix rising from the ashes… or just a well-dressed parrot reciting bullish mantras? 🦜
In a plot that could make a soap opera writer weep with envy, U.S. authorities have taken aim at a certain Jorge Figueira, a Venezuelan national with a flair for the dramatic. Accused of masterminding a money laundering scheme so grand it makes King Midas look poor, this audacious operator allegedly moved over a cool billion dollars without leaving a trace. One can only wonder if he had a magic wand or just a very good VPN! 🪄💸
Cybersecurity researchers, those tireless sentinels of our digital realm, have made a rather alarming discovery: hackers have taken it upon themselves to manipulate WhatsApp, that cherished messenger of the masses, to pilfer the banking credentials of unsuspecting souls. One can almost hear the cackling of mischief-makers from across the ether!
technical analysis
Recent blockchain data shows a rise in Bitcoin withdrawals and transfers faster than a cat on a hot tin roof, especially during those thrilling moments of unrest and internet blackouts. For many Iranians, digital assets are now the financial equivalent of a life raft in a sea of chaos! 🌊
Ah, the California regulators! They’ve slapped a hefty fine on Nexo Capital Inc., who, in their zealous quest for profit, contravened the state’s financial regulations whilst issuing loans sans any semblance of a license. Bravo, Nexo! 👏
Pump.fun announced these updates just as token launches hit nearly 30,000 in a single day. Apparently, that’s the highest since September-so they’re feeling pretty good about themselves. 🎉
Bitcoin, you see, has been enjoying a little run of form. Breaking $97,000, which sounds rather frightfully extravagant. The reason? Apparently, those long-term holders – the “OGs” – are behaving themselves. Holding onto their investments, rather than rushing to cash out. Such restraint! One almost feels…disappointed. They’ve been at it since 2010 and 2011, you know, when Bitcoin was still a charmingly obscure novelty.
Yet as the tempest of bullish momentum gains strength, let us not forget the specter of the short-term holder, those eager gravediggers of their own sanity, who now breathe profits like poisoned wine-sweet, fleeting, and fatal. One must ask, whom shall they sacrifice to the altar of the market’s fickle heart? 🔥
So began a spectacular tumble below that key descending trendline, much like a leaf plucked from a tree in the dead of autumn. Sinking into tangled weeds of loss, this poor token found itself a little too vulnerable to bearish predators enjoyed with a potent brew of sarcasm.
