Bitcoin: Will It Go Up or Just…Wobble? 🤷‍♀️

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Right, so Bitcoin. Apparently, it’s doing a thing. A ‘recovery wave’ they’re calling it, which sounds exhausting. It’s bobbing along above $88,000, like a particularly anxious buoy. Honestly, it’s less ‘bull market’ and more ‘bull tentatively poking the water with a hoof’. 🙄

  • It went up a bit. A little. Above $88,000. Riveting.
  • Also above some ‘100 hourly Simple moving average’ thing. Don’t ask me, I just write the witty bits.
  • There’s a ‘bearish trend line’ eyeing it suspiciously at $88,750. Passive aggressive much?
  • If it gets past $89,500, maybe it’ll do another thing. Maybe.

The Resistance is… Annoying

Look, it’s trying, okay? It avoids dropping below $85,500 which, in the grand scheme of things, is…something. It’s managed to string together a series of ‘levels,’ like it’s collecting air miles. Honestly, the mental gymnastics these analysts employ. 🤦‍♀️

Apparently, it’s 50% of the way back from a high to a low. Which, let’s be real, sounds like a participation trophy. They’re getting giddy about $88,000 and the previously-mentioned ‘moving average’… my therapist charges less for this level of analysis.

If it hangs around $88,000, it might attempt…a further attempt. The resistance levels are piling up like unpaid bills at $88,750 and that charming bearish trendline.

And if it does get its act together? We’re talking $89,500, then $89,800, then, brace yourselves, $90,200. It’s all a bit much, isn’t it? It could even get to $91,500 or $92,000. Lord help us. 😇

But What If It Doesn’t? (Spoiler: It Might Not)

Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. If it can’t conquer $89,500, well, buckle up for another dip. Support at $88,000, then $87,250. Then things get…less pleasant. Like, $86,500, $85,500, possibly even a full-blown existential crisis at $84,500. It’s a whole mood. 😩

Apparently, some ‘technical indicators’ are feeling bullish. Good for them. They’re very enthusiastic.

Major Supports: $88,000 and $87,250. (These are reportedly important.)

Major Resistances: $88,750 and $89,500. (These are also reportedly important. It’s all very important, apparently.)

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2025-12-29 05:49