ebaster On New Year’s Eve, Dec. 31, 2025, Tether CEO Paolo Ardoino, the architect of this digital dominion, declared on the hallowed platform of X: “We acquired 8,888.8888888 BTC in Q4 2025,” he stated, as if reciting scripture. The transfer, sourced from a Bitfinex hot wallet, elevated Tether’s holdings to 96,369.86714418 BTC-a sum worth $8.46 billion, as if numbers could absolve the soul. 🌀
According to the regulators-those stalwart guardians of propriety-and the ever-chattering news harpies, this draconian measure follows an on-site inspection that unearthed a veritable cornucopia of rule breaches. Thousands, my dear! And not just any breaches-risky transfers abroad, the sort that make even the most jaded financier blush. 🌍💼
Meet Chainlink, the oracle platform that didn’t just tiptoe into 2025 but strutted in like it owned the place, handling over $27.4 trillion in onchain transaction value. It’s like the Swiss Army knife of blockchain-only shinier, smarter, and probably with a better haircut. Governments, banks, and DeFi protocols all flocked to its reliable, interoperable services, probably whispering, “Take my money and make it seem safe.”
The FSC is casting a wide net, catching the captains of the largest crypto sails-Upbit, Bithumb, Coinone, and Korbit. These are not mere trading ships but the pillars of what they call the “core infrastructure” distributing virtual treasure. 🌉 And so the captains must now navigate uncertain waters, trimming their sails to stay within newly drawn boundaries. It’s a sight to behold, straight out of a modern tragedy-or perhaps a comedy.
As 2026 dawns, market analysts are about as cheerful as a wet weekend in Brighton. They’re muttering darkly about DOGE slinking toward new lows, like a disgraced butler fleeing the scene of a botched dinner party. 🍽️
The countdown is almost over, folks! 🎉
In the past 24 hours, the canvas of the market witnessed a liquidation total of $230.78 million. Long liquidations tangoed to the tune of $151.90 million, whilst their short counterparts danced to a more modest rhythm of $78.88 million. A fitting spectacle unfolded on Hyperliquid, where a BTC/USD position totting a modest $5.85 million suffered the indignity of the largest singular liquidation.
Like a greedy squirrel hoarding acorns before an apocalyptic winter (or Elon Musk hoarding memes), Metaplanet has once again dipped its corporate paws into the great Bitcoin pie. And not just a slice – oh no – we’re talking a whole flaming dessert worth over $380 million. 🥧🔥💸
What began as an unexpected market jump quickly became erratic due to suspected hacking. During this confusion, one clever trader managed to earn a $1 million profit.
Ethereum’s price is expected to rise to $4,000, according to expert predictions. This forecast is backed by the coin’s solid technicals and ongoing accumulation by major holders like BitMine. 📈