ebaster

As of Friday, January 9th (yes, we know what day it is, thank you very much), XRP was wallowing at $2.09. That’s a nearly 15% drop from its high point this year. A rather undignified tumble, wouldn’t you say? Observe the tragedy below.

Alon Cohen, co-founder of this grand enterprise, did pen a missive upon X, his first in many moons, lamenting that while the V1 model did attract builders and swell the chains of activity, it failed to sway the average memecoin deployer. “Creator fees may have skewed incentives toward the safe cultivation of tokens rather than the daring trade,” he wrote, as if the traders were the true stewards of this digital realm. 🧠

The Bones of Contention:

The unemployment rate slinked down to 4.4% – a mere 0.1% “miracle” that economists probably celebrated with lukewarm tea. Hourly earnings? Stuck at 3.8% YoY like a broken record scratching the ears of inflation hawks. 🎧

It is curious, indeed, that this lamentable revelation comes a year after the hapless SBF and his dear progenitors, with hearts full of desperation, beseeched the throne of power for an act of mercy. How tragically poetic, one might say, that hope should rise only to plummet into the abyss of despair!

CryptoQuant, that tireless clerk of numbers, reports a Shiba Inu exchange reserve of 82 trillion coins. A haunting arithmetic: the weight has risen from about 81 trillion at the year’s dawn. And in that same moment, the SHIB price has eroded some of its early-year gains, retreating from a lofty whisper near 0.000009 to something a touch more humble. 😅

Evernorth, a peculiar little company that adores XRP, backed by the mighty Ripple and SBI Holdings, has unveiled a grand partnership to boost XRP’s popularity, like a magician pulling a rabbit out of a hat. 🐇✨

Permit me to regale you with AMBCrypto’s findings, lest we languish in ignorance. The momentum, it seems, is as relentless as a gentleman’s pursuit of a lady’s hand-undaunted by trifles such as risk.

One might scarcely credit it, but Rain-a purveyor of stablecoin payments-has secured a staggering $250 million in funding. The occasion? A private frolic of a round, attended by luminaries such as ICONIQ (no doubt sipping tea and nodding sagely). The stated purpose? To “scale infrastructure” and “expand internationally,” though one suspects the latter may involve little more than hiring a French translator and rebranding the website. 🇬🇧➡️🇫🇷

By 2026, the signal is unmistakable: crypto’s next act isn’t about minting new tokens but about sneaking itself into the machinery that already matters. Like a polite demon in a crisp suit, it slinks into the arteries of finance, infrastructure, and media, reclassifying itself from product to plumbing. 🚰💼