Africa Gets Blockchained! 💰🚀

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They say progress marches on. Bah! It shuffles, more like, dragging its feet through layers of promises and “disruptive technologies.” Now, M-Pesa Africa, that champion of the common man (and woman, naturally, though they rarely get credit in these stories) has joined hands with the ADI Foundation. Seems they’re going to stick some “blockchain” on top of their mobile money, for sixty million souls to marvel at. Sixty million! One wonders if they asked those sixty million if they wanted blockchain… 🤔

Bridging Traditional Mobile Money and Web3

M-pesa Africa and the ADI Foundation, after much hand-wringing and pronouncements about “synergy”, have decided to glue some institutional-grade blockchain onto their system. A grand scheme to reach… you guessed it, over 60 million monthly users in eight African nations! As if life wasn’t complicated enough already. 🙄

They’re deploying this ADI Chain, a “high-performance” Layer 2 blockchain – because everything needs a ‘Layer’ these days, doesn’t it? – across Kenya, DR Congo, Egypt, Ethiopia, Ghana, Lesotho, Mozambique, and Tanzania. The idea, they claim, is to create “digital rails” for fast settlements and wobbly stablecoins. Rails to where, exactly? And will these rails be built to last, or just another fleeting fancy? 🤷

M-pesa, bless its practical heart, has actually done something useful since 2007, letting people sidestep the greedy banks. Now they want to add this… this fluff. “Build upon the infrastructure,” they say. Yes, build and build, until it collapses under its own weight of buzzwords. 🤣

“M-Pesa has been amazing,” says Huy Nguyen Trieu, a council member, as one does. “We can push it further…with the right digital infrastructure.” The right infrastructure? Or just another layer of complexity for the poor sods trying to send money to their families? One shudders to think.

Apparently, folks in Africa are suddenly obsessed with “digital assets.” Nigeria alone saw $50 billion in crypto transactions. Naturally, they’re all turning to stablecoins to stop their money from vanishing with the local currency. A desperate measure, born of desperate times. 😓

Also read: Study: Bitcoin Dominates Crypto Purchases in Nigeria, South Africa

Strategic Focus on Sovereignty and Compliance

The ADI Foundation, bankrolled by some UAE oil money ($240 billion, no less!), is apparently focused on “sovereign-grade” systems. Which means, of course, it will do exactly what the government tells it to do. Not like those rebellious retail blockchains, oh no. This one knows its place. 😏

By 2026, they plan to launch a UAE dirham-backed stablecoin, blessed by the UAE Central Bank. A blueprint for managing cross-border chaos, they claim. More likely, a blueprint for control. 🤨

“We are excited,” chirps Sitoyo Lopokoiyit, the CEO of M-pesa Africa. They’re always “excited.” Excited to complicate things, to introduce new risks, to make a tidy profit. Such is the way of the world.

ADI Foundation partners with 20 countries, 50 projects. They’re aiming to onboard a billion users by 2030. A billion souls…to what, exactly? To the endless cycle of promises and disappointments? One can only hope they’re prepared for the fallout when it all goes wrong. 🤷‍♂️

FAQ ❓

  • Where is this mess happening? Kenya, DR Congo, Egypt, Ethiopia, Ghana, Lesotho, Mozambique, and Tanzania.
  • What’s this ‘blockchain’ then? ADI Chain, a fancy Layer 2 thingamajig.
  • Who gets dragged along for the ride? Over 60 million M-Pesa customers. God help them.
  • What’s the big idea? A stablecoin linked to the UAE dirham, promising stability in a world gone mad. We’ll see about that.

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2026-01-15 11:05