It appears that Michael Saylor has unveiled a rather sensational revelation during the grand affair known as Strategy’s earnings call. This illustrious company claims it can sustain dividend payments forever with a mere 1.25% growth in Bitcoin. Meanwhile, they hold a staggering 713,502 BTC, despite recently announcing a colossal quarterly loss of $12.4 billion-truly, a feat deserving of applause!
As if dropping a cannonball into a pond, Michael Saylor made waves during the earnings call. The company, dear reader, boasts that it can continue to pay out dividends indefinitely with just a trivial annual growth of 1.25% from Bitcoin. In the latest episode of their financial saga, Strategy reported a rather grim net loss of $12.4 billion for the fourth quarter of 2025. Not surprisingly, shares took a nosedive, plunging by 17.12% in the after-hours trading, as investors clutched their pearls and gasped in horror.
On February 6, 2026, Bitcoin found itself in quite the pickle, crashing down to a measly $63,596.56-a decline of 13% in just a day! The once-mighty digital asset fell below its purchase price for the first time since 2023, a poignant reminder that even cryptocurrencies can have their off days. Oh, how the mighty have fallen!
The Magical Mystery of Eternal Dividends
Strategy, in its grand wisdom, hoards roughly $45 billion worth of Bitcoin reserves, like a dragon guarding its treasure. CEO Phong Le, in a display of mathematical prowess that would make any accountant weep with joy, explained during the investor call that the annual dividend obligations amount to $888 million across preferred equity instruments. A sum that surely gives one pause!
According to the ever-reliable BSCNews on X, these Bitcoin reserves are enough to cover dividends for a staggering 67 years without breaking a sweat. The firm, it seems, requires merely 1.5% yearly appreciation in Bitcoin to maintain these illustrious payouts. To fund these distributions, Strategy sells tiny portions of its holdings, proving that sometimes, a little creativity goes a long way. Saylor boldly claimed that the company has “80 years to figure out” alternatives should Bitcoin decide to take an extended vacation.
In the fourth quarter of 2025, Strategy managed to assemble a cash war chest of $2.25 billion, a veritable fortress of financial security that could cover two and a half years of dividends without so much as touching their Bitcoin stash. CFO Andrew Kang deserves a standing ovation for setting aside this reserve specifically for those wild market roller coasters!
Brutal Losses Cloaked in Business Brilliance
Oh, but here comes the madness of mark-to-market accounting, which unleashed havoc upon Strategy’s quarterly results! Net losses surged to a staggering $12.6 billion in Q4 2025. Operating deficits reached astronomical heights of $17.4 billion during this tumultuous period. Earnings per share, poor souls, crashed down to -$42.93, far below the optimistic forecast of $2.97.
Yet, amidst this chaos, the software division emerged like a phoenix from the ashes, delivering impressive gains that would baffle even the most seasoned investor. Revenue soared to $123 million, smashing estimates by a delightful 3.53%. Subscription services blossomed by an astonishing 62.1% year-over-year, raking in $51.8 million. Cloud offerings surged a remarkable 65% compared to the previous year-truly, light amidst the gloom!
By February 1, 2026, Strategy had amassed a staggering 713,502 Bitcoins, with total purchase costs reaching a dizzying $54.26 billion through various acquisitions. The average price paid per coin clocked in at $76,052. Remarkably, this corporate titan now holds 3.4% of Bitcoin’s total supply. One must wonder if they plan to build a statue of Saylor made entirely of Bitcoin!
Debt Drama Unfolds Among Investors
In the realm of debt, Strategy currently juggles $8.2 billion in convertible bonds, while net obligations sit at $6 billion after subtracting their treasure trove of cash. Utilizing today’s Bitcoin valuations, the firm operates with approximately 13% leverage-a daring dance in the high-stakes world of finance!
Phong Le unrolled a tapestry of strategy against industry benchmarks during discussions. Typically, top-tier AAA companies operate at around 23% leverage, while their BBB counterparts push the envelope to 32%. Tech sector players average a more modest 15.7% borrowed capital, yet here stands Strategy, proudly waving its flag at 13%.
The cost of convertible debt for Strategy? A mere 42 basis points annually. Maturities meander evenly from 2027 through 2032, with zero restrictive covenants shackling the company’s strategic maneuvers. Such freedom in finance is the stuff of dreams!
However, should Bitcoin plummet to a catastrophic $8,000, threatening to wreak havoc on debt coverage, Strategy would be forced to reconsider its obligations or turn to the equity markets in desperation. A scene worthy of a riveting drama!
Throughout 2025, Strategy aggressively scooped up $25.3 billion, claiming the title of top issuer in the U.S. equity markets. Capturing an astounding 8% of all American equity raises, January 2026 alone brought in $3.9 billion and an additional 41,002 Bitcoins. One can only imagine the glee of the strategists behind this grand operation!
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2026-02-09 01:36