Bitcoin’s recent push toward $97,600 last week felt like an emergency karaoke cover of “I Will Survive” – enthusiastically performed, but you haven’t bought the vinyl or memorized the lyrics. Glassnode, that omniscient yet slightly bored oracle of on-chain tidings, was quick to clarify: this wasn’t a rom-com finale convoluted with finance. The market’s bullish options activity, it turns out, was more Hollywood auditions (script optional) than a long-term script approval.
“Let’s dissect the market’s latest enthusiasm for 97.6K,” Glassnode intoned, as if narrating a reality show for traders. The big takeaway? Call demand surged like people finally remembering they own umbrellas during a storm – just in time to ask which way the dance looks better but not quite ready to relocate the dance floor. The real issue, according to the blockchain bore of analytics, was that the front-end calls didn’t conjure a market-wide trance that would merit a Wikipedia page.
Brace yourself for the truth: the market doesn’t live here now. Glassnode casually noted that near-term skew was skittering toward “neutralish” while the 1-week calls screamed, “Yes! I’m putsaur!” Meanwhile, the 1-month and 3-month metrics were sipping lukewarm tea and sighing about asymmetrical downside – which is just a polite way of saying, “Nope, at least not until after we’ve read another scroll of existential dread.”
Then there’s the volatility, which Glassnode described as… well, like selling when others are trying to monetize. While the rally unfolded, volatility was being peddled like a secondhand car off a dodgy website, minus the golden opportunity brochure. “Gamma sellers cashing in like it was their personal party,” Glassnode wrote, which is about as promising as a homeowner bragging about their mortgage sell-off, not their new backyard hot tub.
In short, the options market is currently staging a vibrant masquerade – everyone’s buying masks, but no one actually remembers the invite code. The takeaway? The breakout lacked the gravitational pull of a full-throated bet that Bitcoin’s journey to $97K isn’t just a metaphorical blink-and-miss-it jaunt through Kepler’s disco bar. “Ideally, a clean breakout would leave you needing smelling salts, not questioning whether this was a dream,” Glassnode mused, adopting a tone somewhere between Mr. Spock and a bemused cash register.
The final directive for traders? Keep an eye on whether the long-dated skew finally decides to transform from put territory into an area code with a better reception. Rating-wise, this isn’t quite a Martian expedition just yet – it’s more like a suburban barbecue where everyone brought half-baked arguments about whether the ribs were really slow-cooked.
At press time, BTC lingered at $89,297 – a reminder that the medium-term skews are still filing for divorce from the front-line romance.
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2026-01-24 05:16