My dear, if one were to believe the latest theatrics from the political stage, it appears Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) has taken it upon herself to don the mantle of the nation’s moral compass, once again. On a Wednesday, no less-a day already burdened with midweek ennui-she deigned to grace us with a “sharp warning” regarding the CLARITY Act. Her ire? An endorsement from the darling of financial impropriety, Sam Bankman-Fried, whose current residence is rather less glamorous than his former Bahamas penthouse.
The exchange, as they say, played out on that bastion of intellectual discourse, X (formerly Twitter). Bankman-Fried, currently enjoying a 25-year sojourn at Her Majesty’s pleasure for fraud, took a moment from his busy schedule of prison yoga to praise the legislation, crediting none other than President Donald Trump. One can only imagine the raised eyebrows and clutched pearls in certain circles.
“Darling, the alarm bells!”
Senator Warren, never one to miss an opportunity to brandish her regulatory sword, pounced on the convicted felon’s support with the zeal of a debutante at a society ball. “Sam Bankman-Fried, the fraudster who pilfered at least $8 billion from his unsuspecting clientele, has endorsed the CLARITY Act,” she trilled. “One would have to be utterly tone-deaf not to hear the alarm bells.”
She then proceeded to lecture us on the importance of consumer safety, as if we were all naughty children in need of a stern governess. “Any crypto market structure bill must protect investors, our financial system, and American taxpayers,” she intoned, with all the gravitas of a Shakespearean tragedienne.
SBF’s prison post: A masterpiece of irony
The drama began when Bankman-Fried’s account-one can only assume he’s dictating from his cell like a modern-day Oscar Wilde-posted a full-throated endorsement of the bill, framing it as a triumph over the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC). “The CLARITY Act will be a huge milestone for crypto and a huge achievement for @realDonaldTrump,” he declared, with the audacity of a man who’s clearly lost touch with reality.
Not content with mere praise, SBF then launched into a tirade against SEC Chair Gary Gensler, suggesting his prosecution was politically motivated. “I was championing a similar bill to get crypto out of Gensler’s hands when Gensler helped Biden’s DOJ put me behind bars,” he claimed, with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer.
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2026-02-26 00:29