741 Million Crypto Nuts! Bitcoin & Ethereum Rule the World!

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Key Highlights (Or Should We Say, High-Larious Points?)

  • 741 million people now own crypto! That’s more than the number of people who’ve seen my movies… combined!
  • Bitcoin‘s still king with 365 million holders, but Ethereum‘s catching up like a hungry schnauzer after a bialy.
  • The U.S. government, corporate bigwigs, and clearer rules are all to blame… I mean, credit for this crypto craze.

So, apparently, 741 million people worldwide are now crypto crazy! That’s right, folks, more people own Bitcoin and Ethereum than have seen “Blazing Saddles” and “Young Frankenstein” combined. And let me tell you, that’s a lot of people!

According to some fancy report by Crypto.com (not the band, unfortunately), Bitcoin holders jumped from 337 million in 2024 to 365 million in 2025. That’s an 8.3% increase, or as I like to call it, a “Brooksian Bump.”

Ethereum, the runner-up in this crypto marathon, grew by 22.6% to 175 million users. Seems like their smart contracts are smarter than my accountant… and that’s saying something!

At the time of this writing, Bitcoin’s trading at $68,058 (down 0.83%), while Ethereum’s at $1,981 (up 0.37%). But who’s counting? Oh, right, everyone in crypto.

So, what’s behind this crypto boom? Well, it’s all thanks to President Donald Trump’s executive order in March 2025, creating a Strategic Bitcoin Reserve and a Digital Asset Stockpile. Who knew he was such a crypto visionary? Maybe he’s been taking lessons from Dr. Frankenstein.

U.S. Government: Crypto’s New Best Friend

Yep, the U.S. government is now officially in the crypto game. They’ve made Bitcoin and other digital assets as legit as a Brooks comedy. Public companies are jumping on the bandwagon too, adding crypto to their portfolios like it’s the latest fad diet. Tokenizing real-world assets? Sure, why not? Property, art, commodities-it’s all fair game. Next thing you know, they’ll be tokenizing my movie scripts!

Take Strategy, for example. They’ve got over 714,644 BTC, and they just added another 1,142 BTC worth $90 million. Metaplanet, a Japanese firm, holds $3.78 billion in Bitcoin. And Harvard? They’ve got $352.6 million in crypto assets. Looks like even the Ivy League is getting in on the action. Maybe they’re planning to buy a few more Nobel Prizes.

Institutions: Finally Getting the Joke

Even the big boys-banks, investment managers, and other institutional investors-are finally getting the joke. With clearer regulations, they’re diving into crypto like it’s a pool party at the Plaza Hotel. Crypto.com got all sorts of fancy licenses in Europe and the U.S., making it easier for these institutions to join the fun. Who knew red tape could be so… liberating?

Looking ahead, Crypto.com predicts even more growth in 2026. With 741 million crypto owners, that’s about 9% of the global population. At this rate, we’ll all be paying for our bagels with Bitcoin before you know it.

Crypto.com CEO Kris Marszalek said, “This past year was huge for crypto, thanks to regulatory progress and the U.S. solidifying its spot as the world’s largest crypto economy. We’re optimistic that adoption will keep growing, both at the retail and institutional level.” In other words, the crypto train is leaving the station, and everyone’s scrambling to get on board.

So, there you have it, folks. The crypto market is maturing, spreading across regions and use cases like a Brooks film marathon. Who knows? Maybe one day, we’ll all be trading Mel Brooks NFTs. Now that’s a future I can get behind!

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2026-02-16 22:28