ebaster

The sell-off follows a failed attempt at breaking above $94,500 on Tuesday, the third in the past five weeks. One might say the market is as persistent as a broken record. 🎶

At the stroke of 1:01 a.m. UTC on January 7, 2026, Ethereum embarked on a modest endeavor, increasing the per-block blob target from 10 to 14, and the maximum from 15 to 21 blobs. A 40% capacity expansion, which, in the grand scheme of things, is a small step for Ethereum, but a giant leap … Read more

As Bitcoin continues its ascent, so too do the perils that beset its holders. In 2026, selecting a wallet is not merely a matter of features but a question of survival. Malware, phishing scams, fake wallet apps, and browser attacks are the hydra-headed monsters of the digital realm. 🦖

In a thrilling X post that’ll make your socks tingle (or at least your portfolio), Glassnode spilled the beans on Bitcoin’s perp funding rates. Now, what’s a funding rate, you ask? It’s that cheeky little fee longs and shorts swap like trading cards at recess. Positive number? Bulls are charging like caffeinated elephants! 🐘

It mirrored the movements of Bitcoin and Ethereum, a pale imitation. Solana’s little climb above $130. It wasn’t a roar, more of a polite cough. Then, a fleeting glimpse of $142-a momentary defiance of gravity. And like all such things, a slippage, a retreat, a humbling return to the 50% Fib retracement level. Such drama!

Lo and behold, this echoes the great Venezuelan saga where three crypto wallets allegedly conjured $630,000 from thin air by betting on President Maduro’s arrest. A mere coincidence? Sure, and I’m the Queen of England 🤴.

TL;DR (Too Long; Didn’t Read)

At the time of scribbling this down, our furry friend was nipping at the heels of its December highs, ready to embark on a rally so grand, it’d make the Great Dane of Wall Street blush! 🐕💨

Strive, led by the charismatic Vivek Ramaswamy (who sounds like a character straight out of a spy novel), decided to splash out a cool $100 million on Bitcoin [BTC]. Imagine their joy – they scooped up 101.8 Bitcoin on January 4th, as if it were a box of excellent chocolates. This charming move boosted Strive’s Bitcoin trove to a whopping 7,626.8 BTC, worth approximately $708 million – enough to make even the most seasoned investors do a double-take. It’s no wonder their stocks jumped 15%, as if they’d just discovered a new sport called “market-mania.”

From the frozen wastes of $2,700, Ethereum rises-a phoenix with a calculator. The 50-day moving average, once a tombstone, now lies trampled beneath its hooves. Analysts, those modern-day prophets, whisper of a “recovery,” but one must ask: what salvation awaits when the crowd’s breath turns to ice? 🪦